happy NCC day!
(:

had trials today
and it went so wrong.
especially for the first set
during which i played like absolute crap.
and the stupid lights confused me into thinking
that the shuttle went to the right
when it actually went to the left.
WOW.

managed to fight back in the second set
and fought hard in the third,
but i still lost.
and i don't understand why.

15-21, 21-17, 23-25.
such lousy scores.

nevermind that i lost.
the weird thing was that i was so upset after the match.
so upset that i actually cried.
normally i handle losses well
but this time,
i couldn't.
i became depressed.
and i still am.

my level of confidence is rock bottom,
and i'm starting to kiss the chances of me getting chosen to be in next year's team good-bye.
because i really don't see how i'm going to prove my worth
when i can't even win.

anyway!
i want to thank my dear tong gan ku-er huiyan
for lending me her shoulder to cry on (quite literally)
and tried to comfort me by saying purely retarded things
and thanks for burying me under my stuff!
it helped a lot.

school ends at 12pm tomorrow.
and i have to stay back for training.
GAH.
):