How can I love you,
If you just don't talk to me?


```


ah, the bombardment of math papers
i'm practically drowning in them.
where's my biology papers when i need them?
its total overload on math, if you ask me.
and its not helping my situation at all.
blah.


national day holidays were f-u-n.
but as usual, time passed too darn fast.
dinner at andrew's was exceptionally nice, due to some reasons.
but mainly because it felt like old times again, though it was only the 4 of us.
watched the parade on tv, and laughed at some stuff.
poor shawn. *coughs*
i don't think the show segment of the parade was anything spectacular, though.
its getting really monotonous and boring.
with all the cheesy themes like earth, fire, wind, water and people,
you'd think that captain planet was going to pop up somewhere with his gang and start singing the theme song.
but then again, we're singapore and that's what we're good at - coming up with ridiculous things.
ohwell, a lot of effort was put in, so i shan't undermine it so much.
if there was one thing that i liked, it would be the show casing of the military vehicles.
especially loved it when both apaches did a bow to the spectators.
fantastic, i wanna learn how to do that HAHA.

i can't remember what i did on friday. : /

in the end, i didn't watch the simpsons on saturday.
neither did i go to eunice's chalet.
but it was okay, because dear chris came over to study.
and study we did.
with some digression and a lot of noise.
haha.
dinner at suntec after that!
at the japanese restaurant too.
ohman, everything was sinfully yummy.
and CHRIS HAS A HUGE APPETITE.
uhm, walked around after dinner and took pictures,
so fun.
picked my brother from tuition, and i played with puay's hamster!
ahhh, zip is so cute.
chris was being a coward and played with puay's ugly fish though.
uh sorry to disappoint you chris, but the fish doesn't like you.
its behaviour was that of an aggitated one. HAHA.
brian and i bought a ramly burger EACH after dropping chris home,
and i was really fascinated by the ramly burger man's sheer prowess at flipping patties,
while brian was really fascinated by the muscles on the durian man's arm in the next stall.
LAME. haha.
i realised that ramly burgers are NOT suitable as late-night suppers.
especially after you ate like a pig during the day.

ohyes, chris can't flood tagboards to save her life.
that wasn't flooding chris, it was more like a flash-flood!
haha.

studied with joce and sab after church on sunday,
did biology!
i just love biology, don't you?
haha.
bought a bag (finally) at $5o, and surpringly my mum found it cheap.
whew.

monday sucked quite badly for me though.
first, it was chinese
although my grade was relatively good for my standard, i still didn't get what i wanted.
and so i have to retake it at the end of the year. precious time wasted.
i better get a 3, or else i'll just flip.
next, it was dpa.
though i already knew the results of my dpa application long before it was officially released,
i still couldn't help but feel really really sad.
i know i shouldn't be, since it God's will and all,
and that He probably wants me to get a reality check,
but now, i'm just really demoralised.
i don't even think i can get a score good enough for my course.
i really don't see a way.
dammit, i need something to raise my morale.

monday didn't help my mood,
and for the past 3 days i found myself easily annoyed by some people though i might not have showed it.
usually i'd be able to bear it, but somehow, this week, that was not the case.
which really sucks because i hate being like this.
the rest of my week so better improve.

stupid tests and all,
i wish you all away.
poof.

praise God for the release of 2 hostages!
2 down, 19 more to go, God!

okay, i think i've made up my mind.
i'm gonna cease all stupid thoughts and fantasies that have been amusing me for the past few weeks.
that's all, ka-poof.

national day celebrations today!
chris and i were wailing to each other on the phone last night about what to wear...
with all the guidelines and stuff, we didn't know whether to follow them or not.
but in the end i didn't HAHA.
the outdoor segment was the same as all the previous parades...
but i liked the marching (though we had a lousy view) and the malay and indian dance.
got bored after awhile though.
let's just say the way we went into the mph was stupid.
the sec4s should've been allowed to go in first to get good seats.
but noooooo everyone went at the same time
and in the end half of 4S was on the left and the other half was on the right.
how stupid.
but anyway we sneaked to rejoin our class during community singing which was better than nothing.
i still think we sang too little songs. ahwell.

see what you missed!

mrwee looked so cute going up and receiving his cert.
but some stupid person made him go up too early and in the end his name wasn't announced.
argh.

lunch at ps after that!
pat, eunice and i all had the same lunch.
and linette was the only one who had baked rice. hahh.
well the 3 of us died eating the creamy chicken and no one finished their plates.
felt like puking after that, eww.
walked around, i wanted to get some clothes but my mood changed.
ended up at amk's this fashion but only bought one shirt-like thingy.

how un-fruitful.

but anyway heck, at least i can go home to study and mug,
which i am so not doing currently because i'm doing what i do best.
digressing.
okay fine, i shall go have an affair with my books now.
ta!

i don't know if i can take it anymore.
don't know how much more optimistic about stuff i can get.
i think i'm destined by God to not have things my way.
which sucks.

okay i'm being so contradicting.
but i can't help it, i really can't.
though deep down inside i'm secretly hoping that somehow, just somehow,
it'll come true for me.
but i doubt it.
God probably has something else in mind for me.
-sighh.

why can't i just get things right for once?
everytime it happens, its always the wrong person.
i'm starting to feel like i'm not supposed to be that way.
actually i really don't mind, but then again, it looks fun.
and i'm hoping, too, that my fears are wrong.

waiting for your call-
when will it ever come?