How can I move on when I still can't bring myself to let go of the past?

Why am I so stupid.

Here's an awesome video of Marlow and Frances Cowan playing an impromptu piano piece:


And the story behind their performance and talking about their God-given talents:


I swear, they are absolutely fantastic. Its incredible how they are able to go out and provide entertainment even at their age! Gotta love their energy and the joy they bring to others, its so inspiring and refreshing. And their humour is so cute! I hope God blesses me to be like them when I'm old (:

"God gave us talents, and the purpose of these talents is we're supposed to use it. We happen to have the talent of music and humour, and so you put them together and whatever we can do, then we'll make life more enjoyable for others while we're doing it. But as we're doing it we're constantly feeling we're praising the Lord - that's the reason we're doing this. He tells in the Good Book that you praise the Lord by bells and cymbals, or joyful noise. Make a joyful noise! And so that's basically what we're here for." - Frances Cowan

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SABRINA KWANG SHU MING!

Look how much we've seen each other through! From an ugly duckling to beautiful swan. (: I love you much my dear! We've been through so much and it only goes to show how awesome a pair we make. (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DADDY TOO!

I love him to bits he's like the bestest dad God could ever bless me with! Ahhh wish I could celebrate with him, miss him so much! But never mind, I can see him in February when he comes with my mum and Brian. :D

Hello everyone. My exams are starting tomorrow, with Academic Study Skills (a.k.a. English) as my first paper, followed by Chemistry, Math and then Biology next week. And on Thursday I will finally be free. But I just want to ask that if you're reading this, please spare a little minute or so and pray for me because this exam is pretty much the equivalent of A levels in my life (minus the insane stress that my friends back in Singapore went through).

May God bless me and guide me through the papers, and may He give me the confidence to answer the questions. With this I leave the rest in His hands.

Its my first morning back in Melbourne, and I just woke up from a record-breaking 14 hour sleep. NAISE.

Coming over this time I thought would be easier for me, that I won't miss everyone as much, but I guess I was wrong. I think its probably because I'm all alone now, without my Glenn friends to distract me. So yeah, the whole flight back I was pretty down and sian, hardly slept and hardly ate anything. Flight landed, went through the motion of clearing customs and getting my luggage. Found my taxi, took off for 'home'. Got home, lugged up my bloody heavy bags, dumped everything in my room and sat on my bed. Then left to get groceries. TIRED SIA.

It feels even more surreal to be back here in Melbourne after just a three week break in Singapore.. And kept going through my head was this thought of, "Sian, I'm back here again." Which is pretty true. But it made me realise how I saw my time here in Melbourne. I guess I was actually pretty strong last year, because I'm actually feeling more down and affected now than last year. OMIGOD, talk about slow reaction.

I know I have to continue to be strong and stop mulling over it, but y'know sometimes you just feel like not doing anything, curl up on your bed and sleep the feeling off? That's exactly how I feel now, although I kinda just got out of bed (lol). I have absolutely no heart to start mugging for my exams that start in five freaking days' time (though I know I really should). But I keep telling myself to be strong for the next week plus, get the damned exams over and then I can hide from the world if I still feel like it.

Since when did Rachietan hide from the world? Beats me. But thats what I want to do now. Hide from the world and pretend I'm back in sunny Singapore with my family and friends.

That's all I have for now. Gotta really be serious about mugging. Maybe I'll post later at night, about my time in Singapore since I totally neglected my blog then.

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Looks like its back to haunting Facebook, MSN and Skype for me, and checking my blog for you. Haha.

"Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you are a good person and a good friend. What is meant to be will end up good and what is not won’t. Relationships are worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don’t, you must move on and realise what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you. Hopefully, people realize great things when they come around and don’t lose something real. Always fight, until you can’t anymore, and then be fought for.”

Happy new year everyone! 2009's but a distant memory now. Passes by so quick, sad but part of life. Time passes too fast when you're grown up. Wonder if 2010 will pass just as fast as 2009 did, or even quicker.

Sorry haven't been updating, been really busy meeting up with friends and studying. Off to KL in three hours' time (and I'm still packing) for four days, back on January 4. After that its ten days before I go back to Melbourne. Too little time, too many things to do.

Ta for now, anyway.

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New life, new love, new year