Monday, September 24
Five Loaves and Two Fishes - Corrinne May
A little boy of thirteen
was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing
and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening
to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom,
even the kids could understand
The hours passed so quickly
the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry
but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox
at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do
there were thousands to be fed
But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
the kindness in His smile
and the boy cried out
with the trust of a child
he said:
"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
to feed them all"
I often think about that boy
when I'm feeling small
and I worry that the work I do
means nothing at all
But every single tear I cry
is a diamond in His hands
and every door that slams in my face
I will offer up in prayer
So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"
Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small
I trust in you
I trust in you
Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
no gift is too small
```
i want to fly
far far away.
i want to go to london and see the big ben,
paris to see the eiffel tower,
africa to see the lions and cheetahs,
lahu to see my dear friends,
venice to see the waterways,
the amazon to see the forest,
down under to see kangaroos,
new zealand to see kiwis,
and last but not least,
i want to go to JAPAN,
to see everything.
okay, that was just random.
but then again i'm really pining to go overseas now.
yes, now, so that i can get my mind some rest.
and so that i can escape from this miserable life that's bugging me.
well okay, so my life's not that bad.
but let's just say that i don't exactly adore it right now.
not while the prelim results are coming out tomorrow,
not while my Os are less than a month away,
and not while my whole entire family is looking my way to find out how i did.
i need some breathing space man.
ohyeah, and the fact that my going to lahu depends on my prelim results isn't helping either.
the JC talks on friday were a waste of time.
okay maybe i shan't be so critical, but it was useless to me.
except ACJC's, which succeeded in getting me worked up into going there again.
and just when i thought that i finally kissed the dilema on whether to go to JC or poly goodbye.
but after getting all hyped up, reality hit me again.
so, poly, here i come.
though i must commend ACJC's talk because they were the only JC that didn't suck up to us.
it was rather stupid to listen to all the others try to sweet talk us,
but ACJC once again has lived up to its standards.
unique, and different.
its really a pity that i shan't be going to ACJC,
after spending my whole life dreaming about the day when i can officially call myself an ACSian.
but ohwell that day will never come.
its quite depressing, actually.
but then again in order to pursue my even bigger dream,
i shall lay down sacrifices to become the best veterinarian ever.
okay maybe that's a tad too much but yeah.
national geographic, here i come! HAH.
almost died from boredom due to today's career talks.
the medicine talk was not bad though but none applied to me.
so yaaawwn, i was bored.
and it was absolute torture sitting down the whole time.
my poor butt is still sore from all the hours of sitting down.
and we're still going to be sitting down all day for the next 2 days,
so i'm not looking forward to anything.
i was really amused today, though, by a particular person in school.
apparently we couldn't discuss about relavant topics and were told off.
okay, fine, maybe we did make a bit too much of noise.
but i don't think you're allowed to use your handphone and text people in the middle of a talk.
set a good example, man.
the funniest part was the supposed scolding.
i had a really strong impulse to jump up and shout "SIR YES SIR!"
made me feel like i was in NS or something.
sir.
tried really hard to contain my laughter.
lining up outside in twos? unheard of.
filz and gc just walked off without being noticed
and everyone else stood outside the room in a complete mess.
okay, so we amused the old man and lined up in twos,
but "okay, bring them to the canteen" was a tad too much.
and everyone broke file and stalked off.
hah, loser.
it was really quite nice to see cedarians finally being defiant.
and i hope that showed him that we're not idiots who obey everything.
'cos we're not. we've got brains to think and rationalise with.
HAHA.
badminton tomorrow with pat.
ahhhhh.
i just love his smile, his laughter, his voice, his everything.
sounds stupid but whenever i see his smile and hear his voice,
it never fails to bring a smile to my face.
and my day is immediately brightened.
prayed; 9:54 PM
Thursday, September 20
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WENDY YOON YOU STUPID LIL' SPAS BUD OF MINE!
don't drink yourself silly yeah!
sorry i couldn't spend your birthday with you... i'll make it up to you, okay!
i promise. (:
ohyes and happy sweet sixteen to the small minute froggie called yusin.
its about time you joined the 16 club. haha!
whooooo went to school on monday to study with lo,
and played some tennis after recess ended.
taught her how to improve her game and i must say, she's a fast learner.
or maybe i'm a good teacher. HAH.
anyway, lo, it'll be $1050 and don't you be late in your payment!
haha i LOVE tennis.
got a slight burn from the noon sun though.
ahwell small price to pay for the joys of tennis. :D
met leng on tuesday after her history to do some prom shopping.
walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked till our legs were gonna die and still couldn't find anything nice.
well actually we found a really nice dress from daniel yam but the price wasn't very nice and considering the fact that its from daniel yam,
i don't want to run the risk of being seen in the same dress as somebody else.
so we left it. though i think its the perfect dress for me.
or close enough haha.
since i've got so many specifications for my dress.
had fun squealing like idiots in the changing room,
but only 4 pictures were taken because i looked stupid.
HAHAHA.
i've got to get prom out of my head right now,
and put my dear Os in it again.
stupid break after my prelims, is has made me think of all things other than Os.
ahhhhh gotta get back on track!
phft.
life is unexpected.
its God's will that things turned out this way.
and there's a blessing in disguise too, just look carefully.
though it may be really hard for them, but you can't have everything smooth-sailing.
its just not how things go.
treat this as a test of faith, and see it as a chance to strenghthen your relationship with Him.
might be a little hard for me to understand how they must be feeling,
but this is the least that i can do, provide some support.
depend on Him, and He will help.
and don't forget to look at the blessings that have come through the happenings of this.
you'll never think the same way again.
i totally slacked my butt off today.
totally.
and i'm starting to feel guilty for it.
but, WHO CARES. haha!
i'll cram tomorrow.
prayed; 10:13 PM
Saturday, September 15
stupid prelims are finally over.
so its 2 down, 1 more to go.
this is it, rachel. the final race and after that its total liberation.
i can't say how much i want time to just fly past and fast-forward to my last day of the Os.
i just want to get rid of it all.
it has been bugging me like the plague for close to 2 years,
making my life a total bore,
giving me a few more extra persistant zits,
and never failing to provide stress.
i've had enough of this.
well i'm just glad that i've got a break to finally relax,
even though its only 2 or 3 days.
better than nothing i suppose.
had a ball of a time playing tennis with twiny after our last paper,
even though it was raining and we were forced to play in the corridor without a net.
but i still had immense fun.
i'm so going to take up tennis in poly!
yay.
i wonder which cave i've been living in for the past few years.
after being so captivated by everything japanese for almost my whole life,
its only now that i discover the joys of jpop.
and no, i'm not following any trend.
ahwell, add one to the list of things that make life bearable,
with having God by my side as undisputedly the top reason.
anyway its been awhile since i've last said anything here.
thanks, lyndon, for inferring that its because i was busy mugging.
which is true. haha.
i hope i'm not living in self-denyal.
went to the international muaythai championships last night with andrew,
and it was a blast.
muaythai is one of the coolest forms of martial arts ever.
it was originally for soliders who had lost their weapons on the battle field as a form of self-defence.
so anyway it was really cool to see the fighters slug it out in the ring.
it was a dream come true for me!
pity brian couldn't go, but too bad he had prelims.
ohman the excitement when seeing the fighters do all those moves that i know, AHHHHH.
but the greatest let down, and i mean GREATEST, was that i didn't get to see tony jaa.
firstly because we got there late, so he probably said hi and all at the start.
and secondly we left before the prize presentation due to some people waiting for us outside.
ARGH I'M SO DISAPPOINTED. ):
ohwell at least i saw a nice karate-style flying kick and another crazy assault that saw the fighter falling on the referee.
sadly, no KO-s though. haha.
to everyone else who's taking your pure humanities papers this monday and tuesday,
YOU'RE SLACKING IF YOU'RE READING THIS, NOW GO STUDY!
and all the best, darls. (:
rachel tan will be a good girl and start to pray regularly and not be a pig and fall asleep.
ikuta toma is LOVE! <3
and mine. HAHA.
prayed; 11:35 PM