Work has finally managed to exhaust me completely. UGHH. Covered 7 floors of clincs at Mount Elizabeth Hospital going door-to-door giving out tokens to the doctors there on behalf of my uncle.. Spent a total of I-have-no-idea how many hours walking around and around. OMG I wanted to chop off my legs and die. Oh, but today Mel and I finally clocked in a full day's work worth of hours! Yay, more money! :D

My education in Melbourne has finally been set in stone! My parents went down to IDP to pay the school fees for my foundation course. Thank God I had work because if I had witnessed them signing whatever papers they had to sign, I think I would've freaked out. Probably because it's like, there's no turning back now. Although maybe I'm just trying to run away from reality by doing this but I really can't seem to help it. I guess I really am quite scared to leave.. I'm such a coward, sheesh.

It's times like this that has me thinking back on the days when you could make me feel better.

But anyway, on to happier things - I got a Macbook! My dad and I braved the insanity of the IT fair a few weeks back to get it. I am never again going back to the IT fair. Though the offers are really quite good. But no, the crowd's a total turn-off. My Macbook's the older version though, because the new one with the aluminium casing is too expensive ($2k plus!). So I settled with the older white casing version. Figured that I'm lucky enough to be getting a laptop in the first place. Haven't opened it yet though, my dad won't let me until I've done what I'm supposed to do (wake up by 9am every morning, walk Kiera for at least half an hour, and study) diligently. So far I supposed I've been walking Kiera everyday and studying (or at least trying to) every other day. But the waking up bit is proving to be really difficult for me to keep to. HAHA. Ohwell, just hope that I'll be able to open my Macbook soon. Can't wait to play with it! And I've named it Ranielle! HAHA you may be able to guess why. But I like it. Reminds me of good times. (:

Puay, Sue May and Adriel all qualified for Boulderactive's Intermediate finals! Which was last Sunday. But anyway omg I'm so proud of Puay especially because she flashed three out of four routes on Saturday! And she qualified first place for the finals. Pity she didn't do as well in the finals on Sunday but I think she still climbed well. (:

I dyed my hair, I dyed my hair! :D

Climbed in school yesterday with Puay and Alvin! I had so much fun haha! And I'm pretty happy with my performance yesterday too.. All thanks to Puay and Alvin's guidance too. I can't wait to climb again! Maybe Saturday at Yishun.. I want Puay and Alvin to train me again!

Had fun talking to Dudley and Danielle yesterday too.. By the stairs crapping and all. Oh yes, and teasing Dan too HAHAHA. Ahhh pity stupid Dan had to leave so early if not we would have had more time to chat. But never mind Dud and I walked her to the school gate before going back to climb a bit more before leaving. Alvin says that Dud should have joined rocmoc lol!

Work in the morning again tomorrow. I just hope its not another long tiring day.

```

I tried to change things.. And I really hope that you take the effort to co-operate. I'm really trying. But it takes two hands to clap. I just hope I don't screw things up again.

Wow, this is cool - I haven't blogged in a week! Which is a really long time considering how, in the past few months, I've been updating almost once every few days. Ohwell, I just didn't feel like, though it doesn't mean that my life has been busier, or more interesting, for that matter.

Let's see. I went to watch Departures with my mum last Saturday.. It's quite good! Really very touching and all.. And true to what Puay predicted, I did cry quite a few times. Felt like an idiot, though. And I think my eyes were puffy after the show ugh. Luckily we watched it at J8 so home was just five minutes away.

Work has been getting more and more torturous. I don't know why but I just can't tolerate the things that I have to do now. Maybe the monotony of it all is finally taking its toll on me. And the worst thing is, your brain really really feels like its rotting. You feel so dead and.. unintellectual. Yeah the feeling really sucks. People may tell you to get a job to prevent your brain from rotting and all, but I realised most jobs (admin ones, at least) that we get at this stage in our lives don't make things better. Now I know why everybody hates admin jobs. And I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to quitting. When, though, is the question.

Dinner with Leng on Wednesday night! We chatted so much omg! Haha I'm missing her already, gosh. (:

March holidays are here! I can't believe I spent most of the 'holiday' at work and not with my school friends. Stupid work. But well at least I saw the rocmoc team today.

Boulderactive 2009! Went down to Novena Square to support the team today. Was supposed to meet the Queen of Lateness at 9am but she broke her record and we ended up meeting at 1pm instead. But it turned out to be a good thing because they didn't start climbing until 2 plus. I'm so proud of everyone! Because they all gave their best. (: Watching everyone climb made me itch to go climb too! So I must get either Puay or the girls to go climb soon! :D

I saw Jolene today too! She came down at night to meet Tiff for dinner. It's such a small world because Tiff and her were tuition friends! Anyway Jolene is so pretty now! Not that she wasn't last time, but she's prettier now. (: But her hair is no longer frizzy. ): So sad because I can't call her The Frizz now! Like old times haha. She's still in badminton! Although she says she's getting a bit sian of it LOL. Hopefully she'll realise how fun climbing is and join it next time when she goes to the Universities! Then she, Tiff and I can go climb together! (: Come to think of it, I kind of miss those times when I used to see her during our badminton tournaments and I'd go tease and joke around with her. Gosh, and the last time I did that was two years ago at my last badminton tournament. OHHH that was ages ago! ):

It felt so damn good to catch up with Jingfang today. Its been eons since we last had a one-on-one talk with each other! It's just so different when we're alone. (: Had an awesome time talking about everything under the sun, as usual. Not forgetting bitching about stuff too. Haha omg we laughed so much. (: As much as I'm not exactly looking forward to leaving, I can't wait for when she comes to visit me in Melbourne after her A's! Then we can finally prance around the place in trenchcoats and boots. And! We won't look like freaks doing so. Omg and we can go climb at the climbing gyms there! I checked out some on the internet and OMG the bouldering facilities are just so awesome! I can't wait to climb there hahah. Anyway most importantly, I'll get to see Fang again! And we WILL be keeping in contact with one another. That goes without saying! ♥

I want to dye my hairrrrr. Sudden urge to do something drastic.

All the best to Puay tomorrow for Boulderactive Intermediate Category! Please don't embarass yourself on the wall hahaha! And to Sue May and Adriel too! Ale!

I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me about the blue blue sky
And all that I can see
Is just a yellow lemon tree

```

Paycheck came on Monday, like finally. It wasn't much, though, because Mel and I only worked half days for four days a week. But I guess it's better than nothing, at least we got money! And helped out at the office.

Our latest job of pasting stickers on the pamphlets made me reminisce about my primary school days.. When I used to collect stickers and paste them into my sticker books. Haha, OMG that was such a long time ago! And I still have my sticker books! Gosh so damn old school la haha. But simple pleasures, man. I wonder if my kids next time will find collecting stickers as fun as I did, or whether they'll think its some lame old past time from yesteryear.

I'm so bored now, good gosh. After work its the same routine of bathing, eating dinner and computer. Now even going on the computer is leaving me dead bored. I NEED SOMETHING TO DO OMG. I need a book to read. But I'm too lazy to walk to the library and borrow some books. I want to watch Japanese dramas or anime. But I'm too lazy to wait for it to load. I want to watch TV. But I'm too lazy to go to the attic. Omg, I totally deserve to die. Somebody shoot me.

Well actually today I overcame my laziness and got started on Osen. It's a Japanese drama on traditional Japanese food. Which seemed like a totally good incentive for me to load the videos haha. Hopefully I won't be lazy tomorrow and get around continuing from where I left off. Lest I forget where, it's episode three!

Did a photoshoot for Puay yesterday for her new clothes that she imported. We almost died because there were so many clothes! I think in total we spent about four to five hours haha. But we managed to finish just in time for an awesome dinner by my maid. (: Anyway I think the clothes she got are so nice! Pity they're all so small so I can't steal any. And I wonder how much she's going to pay me haha. It'll be my first paycheck from her ever since I started working as her photographer! Freelance yo hahaha.

Her website's onetwochic.livejournal.com

I hope she earns muchmuch! Then she can bring me overseas with her the next time she goes. And she said she'll pay for my accommodation and meals! OMG, such a great deal. :D

I realise that this post is so. Totally. Redundantly. Redundant. If that makes any sense at all. I'm just using this as an avenue to relieve my boredom. See people, that's why I have a blog. So that when all else fails, I post something like this to waste my time. And I do apologise if I wasted five minutes of your time as you read through this. Well, okay not really actually. Haha :D

March holiday is coming! I feel like taking the whole week off from work so that I can hang out with my school mates. But I know that's kind of impossible so... SHUCKS. ): But I've booked Danielle for a few days already! I'm just wondering how I'm gonna make things work with my work, haha pardon the pun.

ZOMG I realised I'm leaving in less than two month's time. ): Too fast, too soon, NO! ):

Maybe I should stop rotting whenever I'm at home and really get down to studying and getting my brain in action again. I'm so afraid that I'll just totally screw up in Australia. Okay okay, Rachie Tan will go dig out her Secondary school notes (I hope I still have some) and pour over them again. Looking forward to reading my Biology notes, though! (:

Triddle dee dee!

Jason Mraz's concert was seriously a blast. Tiff and I enjoyed ourselves to the max. (: And I hereby conclude that Jason Mraz really sounds wayyy better live. Now his recorded songs sound so.. restricted. He's so sexy too! Ahaha such a good performer. :D

Thanks to Rai, Tiff, Jingfang, Kenny, Edmond, Heng Tiong and Mel for the ticket! I finally know who chipped in. (: Love ya'll!

We could keep chilling like ice cream filling.

A level results were released on Friday! So proud of my rocmoc seniors, 3 of them got special mention during the Principal's speech, and another one topped the school! I really hope the squash courts get converted into a boulder gym. I will be so happy! Pity I'll be in Australia, though. Haha.

Congrats to Liz for her insane and truly God-given results of 6 A's, and to Faith and Jon for doing awesome as well. Hope you guys get into the course you want!

I got a D for Chinese! Omg haha I was quite surprised. Anyway to those who didn't do up to their expectations, work hard for the retest! I'm sure you'll improve. (: God is giving you a second chance, grab at it!

Slacked around in school on Friday after climbing for awhile. Went to the cafe and found Dudley there. Dan went to study (that nerd), and Dud didn't feel like studying so I accompanied him to waste time. Haha wts, he's so full of nonsense. And we tagged team successfully for a particular mission. (; I still can't believe we did that. Anyway he's so much like my brother.. But shan't list out all their similarities lest Dud murder me. LOL. Well, I really like that swirly thing that Dud does with his pocky stick. Haha. (:

Slacking with Dud that afternoon sort of reminded me of the times we used to just meet up and talk. I miss that.

Stupid park.

Well. All the best to those having their CTs this week or whenever! Persevere, it'll all be over before you know it, and then the March holidays will be here! Which means a well-deserved rest. (:

I hope I get a job at White Lodge!

```

I'll Do Anything.
Even If It Kills Me.

```

So that's why I'm apologizing now

For telling you I thought that we could make it.

I'm actually eighteen. Feels weird, to finally reach that age. No doubt I feel old, especially whenever I see secondary school kids. And I've gotten to the stage where I envy the energy that they have. Makes me remember the days when I was just as young, innocent and boundless in energy like them. This is just one of the symptoms of growing old, and I'm already showing it. Haha. But nonetheless, I'm pretty proud of myself for surviving through eighteen years of learning, growing and maturing. I especially thank God too, for without Him I wouldn't have gotten this far.

Anyway, this is roughly how I spent my birthday yesterday:

Worked with Mel in the morning, endured The Hulk and got through half the day without trouble.

Got called to school by Danielle and asked Rai and Tiff to join me because I wanted to climb. I proceeded to spend the rest of the day in school haha. Danielle and some other friends surprised me with a cake at the boulder area! (: I was touched. And Tiff gave me a box a Canele macarons too! Haha that sneaky girl went to buy it for me after reading my previous post. Sat around and chatted with everyone.. Then went to the cafe upstairs with Anthony to see Lew who wished me.

Climbed a really fun route meant for the J1 guys and completed it. And I made friends with some J1 guys who were at the boulder wall. They're so cute in a younger way. Lol I am NOT a pedophile. Reminded me of last year when I was new to the team. (:

Rai, Tiff, Jing Fang and I went to Chomp Chomp to eat dinner. (: We had so much fun there! I saw Jiang Wei Ting at the hawker centre too! Omg wonderful surprise. (: Went to Macs after that for ice-cream and saw Wei Ting again lol. I had so much fun being with the girls, especially with Jing Fang there. Its not the same without her. (: Our group finally felt whole. ♥

Speaking of which, Tiff and I are going for Jason Mraz's concert tomorrow! It's my birthday present from her and a few other friends. She refuses to tell me who chipped in until after the concert. Anyway our strategic bidding on eBay turned out successful at 2.01AM and we secured our tickets. :D We'll be in the balcony, though. But its better than nothing, at least we can go and hear Jason Mraz live! I cannot wait! (: Oh, and thanks to Yu Sin for giving me the idea of getting tickets from eBay! Love you!

Anyway, here is a list of the people who were nice enough to remember my birthday and wish me yesterday...

Via text (starting with the first): Felicia (who was actually 3 minutes early), Mel, Tiff, Huiyan, Wendy, POK HUA, Kenny, Rai, Lynette, Faithie, Brian, Qiu Lin, Edmond, Sab, Aunty Mad, Pam, Swee Leng, Gina (omg my old maid), Benjamin Choy, Ivan the llama, Aunty Margie, Leon, (loser) Jun Hong, Jolyn, Aunty Marian, Sarah, Soon Theen, Lyndon, Shawn, Geor, Sarah Ho, Filzah, Christbel, Danielle, Lew and Nevin.

Via phone: Kenny, Celesther (and Celestine), Anthony, Jasmine, Elis, my grandfather and Shawn.

In person: Fel, Huiling, Max, Shu Fang, Jerome, Dudley, Mark, Jun Hong, Leon, Victor, Miang Lin, Heng Tiong, Edmond, Kenny, Mag Ho, Jolyn, Rystine, Timothy, Jason, Lew and Wei Ting. (I'm sorry if I left anyone out due to my deteriorating memory of 18 years, no offence meant!)

Via Facebook (the new birthday alarm): Celestine (from EEC), Lionel, Cordelia, Benjamin Choy, Aunty Judith, Shirley, Konrad, Gracelyn, Jing Ting, Natalie, Sebastian, Steph, Miang Lin, Andrea, Pei Qi, Adriel, Bryan, Yu Sin, Esther, Jasmine, Joseph, Nina, Sing Yee, Justin, Wei Ting, Jia Xin and Ashley.

Via MSN: Raveen (all the way from England!), Faith and Shawn.

```

I can't believe you couldn't make the effort to wish me.
Thanks for nothing.

Maybe, just maybe.
I'll learn to hate you a little more each day.

```


Here are some photos of yesterday.. When I get the rest from Dan I'll put them up again. (:


the macarons!
























I ♥ Danielle Ong (:

Happy Birthday to me.

Two days to my birthday! ZOMGG. ):




I currently have a serious lust for macarons. Puay first introduced them to me, but they never really struck me as something that I'd enjoy eating. Never got around to tasting them until sometime last year at Bakerzinn but those macarons weren't exactly very nice. Puay said the ones from Cenele are much better, but at $2.45 each, I kind of stayed away. Until just now. My mum decided to be really nice and bought a little box of six macarons home as my birthday 'cake'. Haha, well, I didn't mind, at least I had some eye candy on the table! I think after eating the macarons my family has been converted to macaron lovers. Haha, they're really nice! My favourites were the rose and violet flavoured ones. Ahhh they were all so pretty on the plate I couldn't bear to eat them! Maybe I'll try making my own batch of macarons someday.. But making macarons isn't easy, or so I've read. I hope I get the motivation and perseverance to do trial and error until I perfect it. They make lovely presents too! (: And a nice break from my chocolate ganache brownies. Aw man, just look at them, they're sooo pretty! All those colours and all.. (:

Anyway, I totally love the weather these past few days! Cold, wet and rainy. (: Reminds me of my days in Cedar when I'd cuddle up in my Cedar jacket and walk around school. So comfy. (: Though the thunderstorms mean that Kiera's been really cowardly. She keeps scratching at the office door to be let in. And once I let her in, she stinks up the whole room because she got wet. End up building a barricade in a corner so she won't walk around. Stupid dog. But I love her anyhow. (:

Watched Marley and Me on Friday with my brother, Puay, my aunt and her partner. Omg I cried so much haha. Reminded me so much of Dino.. Especially when Marley was old and dying UGH. Felt like an idiot haha but I think the movie really portrayed Marley's owners' feelings well when Marley was dying. I could imagine what my dad was going through with Dino. Ohwell. I miss Dino! ): Dinner at Tanglin Club after that - my aunt treated! Then went to Borders to browse. Sent Puay home then took train all the way back with my brother. It was a nice train ride. (:

Brian has ATEC this week! I hope all goes well for him.. Especially since about 18 vehicles (including 4 tanks) will be looking to him for the directions and orders since he's the PC for that little platoon. Omg I hope he doesn't screw up! May God be merciful and grant him no rain throughout his time out field too! So that he won't get drenched. I'm so sad he won't be out this weekend. ): Sigh, gotta wait until the following week before I can see him again!

Puay's gone off to Bangkok - I hope she gets nice stuff back for me! If not just a pair of cheap flipflops can already. (:

```

Is my eighteenth birthday a good enough reason to see you again, or at least hear your voice?
If only you knew how much it hurts.
To see your face in places I would've known about before.

Silence hurts the most.