today was possibly one of the worst day of my entire life.
okayy maybe i'm exaggerating a bit but yeah.
to sum it all up, today sucked.

its stupid to think that you're fine when you're obviously not.
right?
i should stop living a dream.
where's my motivation when i need it?
where's my drive?
i want to work hard, i want to improve.
but i only say, and never do, and still expect results.
oh how dumb i am. and always will be.

i really hope that course thingy will work.
hopefully my memory will improve after that!
then i can kiss the days when i forgot what i ate for breakfast goodbye.
sayonara!
*waves*

weird as it may sound, but i don't want school to close just yet.
tomorrow's the last day already! and we only had 2 days in school this week.
phooey.
i don't want to clean my desk tomorrow.
i don't want my report book! maybe i'll burn it up after i get it.
i don't want to go home!
i need company.
i want company.
ahaha i think i sound so lonely!

i want to say a big THANKYOU to my dearest friends huiyan and sweeleng for giving me comfort and solace when i was so down today. and thanks for putting up with my shitty attitude during training. trust me, i hated every single minute that i spent sulking but at that time, i just couldn't bring myself to smile. somehow it hurt too much. i really love you guys so much. thanks again! *hugs* (:

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today during training, i started missing you.
not that i haven't been, but today the feeling was stronger.
i really wished that you were there, when i needed somebody to talk to.
or just seeing you to give me some motivation.
the times when we went home together after training are missed.
it gets so lonely now.
all times we spent laughing and laughing on the bus...
calling each other names after i alighted and receiving weird looks from commuters...
ohwells.
i just want to say come back soon! i miss you all.