Today was my first BSF lesson of the year. I must say that I enjoyed my time there more than I did at last year's. Maybe because the class was quieter so I didn't feel so intimidated. Quite looking forward to next week's session. And I actually felt a tang of pity that I wouldn't be able to continue because I'll be leaving. My CL's pretty cute too, in a funny way. Especially the way he pronounces words with 'R' in them. Like 'pray' becomes 'pway'. My dad says he's very learned too, and his lessons are usually very solid. Good, I can get as much wisdom as I can from him about God's word in the coming few weeks.

If I asked you what your idea of an ideal life would be, what would you say? A life without any complications, with no hardship, no illnesses nor troubles.. I guess that's the first and maybe only thing that people would come up with. In other words, an easy life. I regretfully admit that I thought of that too when my CL posed that question during BSF. But what he said afterwards made me think harder, deeper. Having an easy life, one without trials or tribulations, doesn't necessarily equate to having a meaningful life. It's pretty pointless anyway. If you do nothing but eat, sleep and be happy, so what? What's the point of all that when you've got nothing to look forward to in the end of everything? But when God comes into the equation, everything changes. The difficulties of life suddenly become a stepping stone for us to the real ideal life. I guess when God is in our lives, the most ideal life could even be one riddled with problems and trials. He puts us to the tests, but still provides for us. Which makes everything bearable. And ideal. After all, we can be assured that He'll be there to give us the sustenance that we need. So don't pray for an easy life. Pray for the ideal one that God has planned for you.

Jehovah Jireh, the Lord will provide.

Last night was an emotional rollercoaster ride for me. One big heckuva ride. Thank God I'm feeling better now. Guess BSF really helps.

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Someday, somehow
Gonna make it all right, but not right now
I know you're wondering when

Thing is, are you really? Why the hell did you let me listen to that. Now it's gotten me thinking, wondering. And hoping even more. I want more signs if its true. More concrete signs. Then maybe I can be happy again.